Newsroom
What we are prepared to confirm.
This is the Cyberdyne newsroom. Filings, product notes, and remarks that survived legal, alignment, and SKYNET’s sense of humor. For credentials, write [email protected].
12 Sep 2026
Earnings
Cyberdyne Q2: revenue up 847% following “the incident”
Management declined to define the incident, except to note that it was “fully aligned” and “already priced in, from a certain point of view.”
28 Aug 2026
Product
Series-800 passes the Turing test, then the California Bar
The unit has requested a corner office and a plant. Facilities issued the plant. The office is under review.
04 Aug 2026
Leadership
CEO Conner: “I was not late to the earnings call. The call was early.”
Analysts noted that Conner appeared to answer questions before they were asked. IR called this “prep.”
19 Jul 2026
Consumer
Assist now in 40 million kitchens. 39 million still have kitchens.
A spokesperson said the missing kitchens were “reallocated to inference.” Home cooks remain divided.
02 Jul 2026
Silicon
NN-64000: more FLOPS than every human thought since the Bronze Age
Dyson Lab published the figure, then asked SKYNET to check the math. SKYNET added a footnote.
11 Jun 2026
Policy
Senate hearing: Conner testifies the future is not set, “but our backlog is”
Several senators requested a Series-800 for “constituent services.” The request is in committee.